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ERIDAN: Interrogate the flipperbeasts with Feferi.
[ GREETINGS DISCEDO, well, at least what is left of discedo. We would like you to fondly regard the prinny couple before the communicator. Who seem very, very confused. Perhaps it is the rather fishy shadows looming over them that is questioning. ]
HEY FLIPPERBEASTS wwhere is all the fish
"Hey, what's this dood talking about?" "I have no idea--"
[ The camera moves in closer, nudging one of the prinny's nose. You can hear giggling in the background. ]
Y-----EA)(! YOU S)(OULD T---ELL US W)(--ER----E T)(-E MISSING P-EOPL--E AR-E!!! )(e)(e)(e.
tell us or i wwill blast your fuckin snapper off your aquatic nob
"W-WOAH, DOOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
[ There is now a purple-blue god gun thrusted at the face of the confused prinny. The confusion now switches to moderately horrified. However, due to the lack of SCIENCE WAND, we know things won't get too messy. And because of the second voice: ]
)(ey, don't do t)(at, you big glubbing BULLY! We're just INT--ERROGATING! Not FLAYING!.
[ the screen shakes slightly. The one who's holding it seems to be shaking SPEAKER NUMBER ONE. ]
HEY HEY QUIT SHAKIN ME!!!! i wwasnt goin to shoot him i swwear its just... this is howw you get some fuckin answwers out of these denizens vviolence is alwways the wway to get some answwers thats howw its done in the organization of force
[ the prinnies take this opportunity of internal disputes to waddle off. ]
HEY FLIPPERBEASTS wwhere is all the fish
"Hey, what's this dood talking about?" "I have no idea--"
[ The camera moves in closer, nudging one of the prinny's nose. You can hear giggling in the background. ]
Y-----EA)(! YOU S)(OULD T---ELL US W)(--ER----E T)(-E MISSING P-EOPL--E AR-E!!! )(e)(e)(e.
tell us or i wwill blast your fuckin snapper off your aquatic nob
"W-WOAH, DOOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
[ There is now a purple-blue god gun thrusted at the face of the confused prinny. The confusion now switches to moderately horrified. However, due to the lack of SCIENCE WAND, we know things won't get too messy. And because of the second voice: ]
)(ey, don't do t)(at, you big glubbing BULLY! We're just INT--ERROGATING! Not FLAYING!.
[ the screen shakes slightly. The one who's holding it seems to be shaking SPEAKER NUMBER ONE. ]
HEY HEY QUIT SHAKIN ME!!!! i wwasnt goin to shoot him i swwear its just... this is howw you get some fuckin answwers out of these denizens vviolence is alwways the wway to get some answwers thats howw its done in the organization of force
[ the prinnies take this opportunity of internal disputes to waddle off. ]
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Look, you get more flies with honey than vinegar, that's all I'm saying. Try being nice to them! It might help, you never know!
...
And they kind of explode a little. If you shake them. Just a little.
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Just don't shake them at all, they explode and it honestly does hurt.
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Look, I just don't want to have to bring you and Fef to the hospital, alright? Can't we just avoid that situation altogether?
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See, that's what I'd like to avoid happening! There's no need for explosions or lost limbs or eyeballs to begin with! It's got less to do with bad luck and more to do with a completely avoidable circumstance!
[AUGH. DON'T MAKE HIM COME OUT THERE. HE WILL BABYSIT]
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Look, I have no doubt that with all your powers intact and with your weapon functioning correctly and whatnot, you're certainly a force to be reckoned with, but chipped as you are now, don't you see any issue at all with testing boundaries and limits like this?
It's so easy, all you have to do is not shake them. Or throw them. Or kick them. In fact, hold off on any prinny related violence unless they decide to attack you, okay?
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It's not even an order, alright? It's a suggestion. A very good one.
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I've been here longer, I think I know what I'm talking about!
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