Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

[ We start our story from a view of an apartment door, followed with some rather ornery chortling from the background. Suddenly the world is spinning as if you're on a circus ride, and you get a nice shot of Eridan's butt chin mug. He looks a little confused and you'll soon see why.]

hey lady you look kind of cold you should get on more clothes
do you want our shirts?
theyre free
you could havve them

[The view whips around again, Eridan is removing his gray shirt and lo ho ho dear readers, there is a lady. A lady with that is dressed in scanty clothes. Her name is none other than Linda. Also known on the street as the Hegemon of Honeybadgers. She looks disturbed, or amused being surrounded by all the troll children. Also, note that the DISCEDO KGB are no where to be seen.

But LO AND BEHOLD, ERIDAN HAS SCORED A PROSTITUTE.

BEACHES AND SHORES.]