shellfish | Eridan and Karkat: Become Erico and Karpan and develop the DKDA.

-- [CCA] RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board DOOMSDAY K-9 DETECTIVE AGENCY --

HAVVE YOU SEEN THIS FUCKASS? [The communicator turns on to video to reveal a face so horrible it would make children cry and weep and wish that they were never born to behold such horrid ugliness. That face also happens to be Jack Noir who, might I add, is drawn wearing a trendy purple cape. Cue, the paper pulled away to reveal Karkat and Eridan.

Something seems different about them. HMMMM.]

THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. FOR ONCE WE ARE NOT BEING SARCASTIC ASSHOLES OUT TO INSULT THE INTELLIGENCE OF EVERY LIFE FORM THAT STUMBLES STUPIDLY ACROSS THIS WASTELAND.
THIS IS THE FACE OF HELL. A PREEMPTIVE "FUCK YOU" TO ANYONE SNICKERING RIGHT NOW. THIS VERSION OF JACK NOIR IS A VIOLENT SOCIOPATH WITH UNLIMITED POWER.
HE'S ALREADY KILLED MY DREAM SELF BY DESTROYING PROSPIT IN A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION RIVALING THE BIG BANG.
A FEW WEEKS AGO, HE WAS SEEN IN SPERO.
THIS MAY HAVE BEEN ANOTHER MINDFUCK THIS UNIVERSE LIKES TO BESTOW ON US BUT I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.

jack the human this means you!
i dont care if you think bein a wwoofbeast means youre not frightenin this is your ancestor and wwe are dead serious about the levvel of threat he poses to society
laugh all you wwant fuckasses but he can smell fear and more importantly he can smell you and he wwill not stop until there is a nice pile of dead troll bodies for him to wwalloww in like the crazyass psychopathic killer he is
heed our wwarnins or youre goin to die
id comment on howw youd be doin the univverse a favvor by just not listenin to our wwarnins if youre an insufferable moron but noww is not the time to wwish ill wwill upon you
so please for the lovve of glub get your cod damn asses out of the path of this psycho
not because i care about you or anythin but because wwe should collectivvely wwork together to bring dowwn the threat of all species alike

AND IF YOU DO FIND HIM AND SOMEHOW ESCAPE ALIVE DON'T ENGAGE HIM IN BATTLE. NO SINGLE PERSON HERE STANDS A CHANCE.
right! just listen to karpan and i [Karkat snarls at Eridan]
DON'T CALL ME THAT. THIS IS A NECESSARY DISGUISE. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M FEEDING SOME SICK COSPLAY FETISH LIKE TEREZI AND NEPETA.
but karpan wwere broadcastin this and he could hear us! i mean he cant recognize us wwith these disguises
wwoofbeasts are blind karpan
YOUR RETARDED ACCENT ALREADY GAVE US AWAY.
your nubby horns gavve us awway
THEY'RE MORE INCONSPICUOUS THAN THAT SHITTY DYE-JOB IN YOUR HAIR.
in case you havvent noticed MY SHITTY DYE JOB IN MY HAIR IS COMPLETELY GONE thanks for bein considerate karpan wwere supposed to be pretendin wwere matesprits not kismesis!
...I'M NOT MAKING OUT WITH YOU. JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR.
wwoww karpan im not that desperate cod
I DON'T TRUST THAT.

[Eridan swings a fist for Karkat's face in his fury of pretendy times as the feed shuts off. Oh yes, what was different about Karkat and Eridan? They're wearing Japan and Marco's clothes. AND YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CLOTHES, huh Japan and Marco?]