Eridan: Attend group therapy session with Sollux and Feferi.

[shellfish]

[ The view provided by the camera is a little shaky and blurry as it is placed on a makeshift stand. And whoever placed it on the stand, soon stands up and makes their way to a makeshift stage that the camera is trained on. Providing viewers with a glimpse of hipster shoes and a flowing cape.

Enter the blobfish on stage.]

[ The first fish on the scene looks a little like THIS. Two gray hands hoist it up onto the stage and help the fish to bounce along when it "speaks." ]

Glub glub, I'm Feffis)(! Glub! And )(ere are my two dear fronds! Today, we're SWIMMING toget)(er!!!!

[ The next fish is a very hipster-looking fish. You can tell by the fake glasses and scarf. Because why would a fish wear a scarf. Anyway, two more grey hands lift up said blobfish, as Sollux attempts to stop lisping, and to pull off some stupid sort of wavy accent while still lisping. ]

my nameth erifithh and i'm a huge douthchebag w-who hateth ev-verything. glub glub glub.

[ And finally a very nerdy fish that is quite possibly an asshole appears on screen. It's kind of ridiculous, really, who would even look at such a fish?! WHO!? You. Of course. Anyhow, you'll also notice that yet another pair of gray hands hold the nerdy fish up. Eridan attempts to become even more of an asshole and puts on a very fake lisp. ]

and my nameth isth solfishth and im the biggesth assthole that evver did buzz. im too good for fef fishth becauseth im a bee. buzz buzz buzz-

GET ALONG, T)(IS IS BONDING.

[Continued in comment log.]

Comments

[biwinning]

look ff.
i get what you're trying to do here but i'm still grothed out about what happened lath week.
more bonding ith like the oppothit of what i need.

[ FISHED IN THE FACE, and he drops the erifish. It plops on the ground quite loudly-- ]

shit--

[ He quickly picks it back up and puts it back on the "stage". But not without getting so much slime on the borrowed scarf. ]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[ The fish in the face doesn't bother him all that much. He's had blobfish to the face before thanks to Feferi.]



[ And Eridan proceeds to puppet the solfish in a polite manner.]

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[biwinning]

i didn't break your thupid fake glatheth.

[It seems, for some reason, that Eridan is going along with this exercise. Probably to impress Feferi. It looks like it's working. Sollux still does feel somewhat sick about the end result of last week... But no, he doesn't even want to think about it. That's how bad it was.

> Future Sollux: Get into a blobfish fight.

No no, we're not doing that sort of writing here, and even if we were, that takes place in the future, and certainly isn't going to happen right away. Because, also for some reason, Sollux sighs and decides to go with this.]

SIGH...

hi tholluckths, i'm thorry for thucking tho much bone bulge, all the time, conchthantly.
and altho getting in your bidneth tho much.
leth thart ov-ver.
i'm eridan and i like to dreth like a tool and thometimeth i'm not a bad troll, but thath mothly blocked out by my THEV-VERE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMTHS.

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[ And Eridan grabs Sollux's shirt and 'lets' the blobfish clean up a nice wet purple blob of saliva on the stage. How kind of you, Solfish. Cleaning up everyone's act with your... purple spit. How kind.]

[biwinning]

[ On the outside, Sollux doesn't move. On the inside, he is FULL OF RAGE. This shows somewhat by the now erratic movements of the Erifish. ]


oh yeth i thee the error of my w-wayth!
ith clear to me now-w that your huge mutant teeth get spit ev-veryw-where and thith ith BRAND NEW-W INFORMATHON.
good thing you w-were here to tell me about thith.
oh lookth like you mithed a spot tholluckth, ol buddy, here let me get it for you.
w-with my face.


[And then Sollux shoved the Erifish into the Eri face. Honestly it's more like a punch with a fish in hand.]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Eridan is a baffled by Sollux's actions with Erifish. It actually hurts a little... but just a little. Still in character, he continues on anyways.]



[Without letting Erifish respond, Eridan holds up Solfish and, using his own arm as an extension of Solfish, he punches Sollux right in the mouth.]



[Anddd have a blobfish thrown at you.]

[biwinning]

[Is he STILL being in character? It seems like. Roleplayers. They don't know when to just stop. And now that Sollux has had his blob fish thrown at him, he fumbles to catch it so his glasses don't get damaged. In the process, he drops the hipster fish, and gives zero fucks if Eridan's glasses break.]

oh my god for grubth thake.
can you stop hitting me in the teeth.
one of them feelth looth now.

[He prods one of his front teeth, testing it to see if it's stable.]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Eridan takes a nose dive to save the erifish. Not because he cares for the fish's well being but because he doesn't want his glasses broken.]



[Pchoooo rocket fist into Sollux's face. Again. But this time it is not a single fist, no. It is plural as he repeatedly punches Sollux's face.]

[biwinning]

[Luckily, Eridan-punches don't hurt much either. When they aren't aimed specifically at your mouth. That said, Sollux tries to block his face, but it's a little too late for one lone tooth. It falls out, and Sollux doesn't even know right away. That is, until he feels the taste of blood in his mouth, and probably dribbling out of his mouth a little.

Sollux finally shoves Eridan off, hard.]

YOU ATHHOLE, YOU KNOCKED OUT A TOOTH.

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[ There's a few seconds where Feferi just... Worriedly watches. But when the fish go flying and there's blood on the scene, she springs into action. That action being STRONG TACKLE'ing Eridan. MEET THE FLOOR BITCH. ]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Eridan meets the floor. Much like a bitch being pimp slapped by a homie would. He meets the floor with a hard KER-ACK! His glasses go flying out of his hands and slide across the floor. He curses under his breath and whines at Feferi.]

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[ HEADBUTT. ]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[ she is not letting you up eri you must answer for your crimes. ]

[biwinning]

[After taking a moment to wipe the blood from his mouth with the back of his wrist, he starts to pay attention to the fight in front of him. He's really pissed off at Eridan, but you're not helping much yourself, Feferi.]

ff, stop fighting my fighth!

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[ She rolls off Eridan and sits up. ]

> Sollux : Be an asshole

[biwinning]

[ The desire to kick Eridan while he's down is great. It's difficult to hold back, but Sollux manages to keep himself from doing so, with some huge mental struggle. It's actually somewhat easier to contain himself when he doesn't have his psionics working, because instead he decides to redirect that energy elsewhere, into something that will certainly hurt Eridan MORE than a kick to the side. Because in all honesty, that is half the reason he's doing this.

That is to say, Sollux sits down next to Feferi, and leans in close. This is how to be romantic, right? Man, maybe he should have actually watched a few of Karkat's movies instead of just going on his computer and pretending to watch it. Anyway, once he's sort of close, one of his hands moves to find hers.]

and i don't want you to get hurt when we do.

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[ Eridan tenses up when Sollux gets closer to Feferi. He gapes a bit at the two love struck fish. They wouldn't... they wouldn't do what Eridan thought they were going to do...would they? He bites his lip from the suspense, wanting to say something but was unwilling to speak up and remind everyone that, yes, indeed he was jealous. And that, yes, he was indeed a big tool.]

[freeglub.livejournal.com]

[ No, Sollux. That's not her hand.

Noooo, not there either.

Nope.

No.

Goddamn, Feferi's just going to hand Sollux her hand. There we go. ]



[ Yes, I'll go to the prom with you.

Sorry, Eridan. ]

[biwinning]

[ Well no one said he had great eyesight to begin with.

Good thing his horns are on the shorter side, or this "leaning close" thing would probably wind up a lot more complicated. But as it is, Sollux is able to do so without bumping horns, he closes his eyes, and slowly leans in to kiss Feferi.

And yes, Eridan. He's completely aware of you still being there. ]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Eridan does not approve.

No.

He jumps right up to his feet and nearly screams at the two tangle buddies before him.

He stumbles with words to correctly express his anger.

There are none.]



[He then proceeds to kick the poor helpless blobfish at Sollux and stomp out the door, seething with bitterness all the while.

TONIGHT, ERIDAN WILL FEEL SOLLUX'S BLOOD ON HIS HANDS.

TONIGHT!!!!!]