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Eridan: Attend group therapy session with Sollux and Feferi.
[ The view provided by the camera is a little shaky and blurry as it is placed on a makeshift stand. And whoever placed it on the stand, soon stands up and makes their way to a makeshift stage that the camera is trained on. Providing viewers with a glimpse of hipster shoes and a flowing cape.
Enter the blobfish on stage.]
[ The first fish on the scene looks a little like THIS. Two gray hands hoist it up onto the stage and help the fish to bounce along when it "speaks." ]
Glub glub, I'm Feffis)(! Glub! And )(ere are my two dear fronds! Today, we're SWIMMING toget)(er!!!!
[ The next fish is a very hipster-looking fish. You can tell by the fake glasses and scarf. Because why would a fish wear a scarf. Anyway, two more grey hands lift up said blobfish, as Sollux attempts to stop lisping, and to pull off some stupid sort of wavy accent while still lisping. ]
my nameth erifithh and i'm a huge douthchebag w-who hateth ev-verything. glub glub glub.
[ And finally a very nerdy fish that is quite possibly an asshole appears on screen. It's kind of ridiculous, really, who would even look at such a fish?! WHO!? You. Of course. Anyhow, you'll also notice that yet another pair of gray hands hold the nerdy fish up. Eridan attempts to become even more of an asshole and puts on a very fake lisp. ]
and my nameth isth solfishth and im the biggesth assthole that evver did buzz. im too good for fef fishth becauseth im a bee. buzz buzz buzz-
GET ALONG, T)(IS IS BONDING.
[Continued in comment log.]
Enter the blobfish on stage.]
[ The first fish on the scene looks a little like THIS. Two gray hands hoist it up onto the stage and help the fish to bounce along when it "speaks." ]
Glub glub, I'm Feffis)(! Glub! And )(ere are my two dear fronds! Today, we're SWIMMING toget)(er!!!!
[ The next fish is a very hipster-looking fish. You can tell by the fake glasses and scarf. Because why would a fish wear a scarf. Anyway, two more grey hands lift up said blobfish, as Sollux attempts to stop lisping, and to pull off some stupid sort of wavy accent while still lisping. ]
my nameth erifithh and i'm a huge douthchebag w-who hateth ev-verything. glub glub glub.
[ And finally a very nerdy fish that is quite possibly an asshole appears on screen. It's kind of ridiculous, really, who would even look at such a fish?! WHO!? You. Of course. Anyhow, you'll also notice that yet another pair of gray hands hold the nerdy fish up. Eridan attempts to become even more of an asshole and puts on a very fake lisp. ]
and my nameth isth solfishth and im the biggesth assthole that evver did buzz. im too good for fef fishth becauseth im a bee. buzz buzz buzz-
GET ALONG, T)(IS IS BONDING.
[Continued in comment log.]
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[ she is not letting you up eri you must answer for your crimes. ]
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ff, stop fighting my fighth!
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[ She rolls off Eridan and sits up. ]
> Sollux : Be an asshole
That is to say, Sollux sits down next to Feferi, and leans in close. This is how to be romantic, right? Man, maybe he should have actually watched a few of Karkat's movies instead of just going on his computer and pretending to watch it. Anyway, once he's sort of close, one of his hands moves to find hers.]
and i don't want you to get hurt when we do.
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Noooo, not there either.
Nope.
No.
Goddamn, Feferi's just going to hand Sollux her hand. There we go. ]
[ Yes, I'll go to the prom with you.
Sorry, Eridan. ]
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Good thing his horns are on the shorter side, or this "leaning close" thing would probably wind up a lot more complicated. But as it is, Sollux is able to do so without bumping horns, he closes his eyes, and slowly leans in to kiss Feferi.
And yes, Eridan. He's completely aware of you still being there. ]
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No.
He jumps right up to his feet and nearly screams at the two tangle buddies before him.
He stumbles with words to correctly express his anger.
There are none.]
[He then proceeds to kick the poor helpless blobfish at Sollux and stomp out the door, seething with bitterness all the while.
TONIGHT, ERIDAN WILL FEEL SOLLUX'S BLOOD ON HIS HANDS.
TONIGHT!!!!!]