shellfish | Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

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Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

[ We start our story from a view of an apartment door, followed with some rather ornery chortling from the background. Suddenly the world is spinning as if you're on a circus ride, and you get a nice shot of Eridan's ~~butt chin~~ mug. He looks a little confused and you'll soon see why.]

hey lady you look kind of cold you should get on more clothes
do you want our shirts?
theyre free
you could havve them

[The view whips around again, Eridan is removing his gray shirt and lo ho ho dear readers, there is a lady. A lady with that is dressed in scanty clothes. Her name is none other than Linda. Also known on the street as the Hegemon of Honeybadgers. She looks disturbed, or amused being surrounded by all the troll children. Also, note that the DISCEDO KGB are no where to be seen.

But LO AND BEHOLD, ERIDAN HAS SCORED A PROSTITUTE.

BEACHES AND SHORES.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You escaped "the man" and all his nurses, ran off and gave clothes to a hooker.

This is how adventures start.

[Just listen to the anarchist pirate Eridan. He knows these things.
And... Oh god he will so round up the babies. His next post "back home" will probably just be in bird form cuddling baby chicks OTL. All that badassery out the window.]

[What man, he doesn't know.
Eridan will just think of you as some badass lusus. Look at all them wrigglers you're taking care of marco. that's pretty badass, for a lusus]

Sex without buckets for cash -- money. Trust me, it's better that you're trying to giver her clothes. I don't know how often I have to explain this to my little idiots, but it's rarely worth it.

[Notice that he says rarely. OTL such a bad role model Idek...
And that is true love right there. Accepting Marco's insanity nonetheless XD he appreciates it.]

[OTL look how flustered he looks. He now understands why the hooker had been pestering him for the past hour or so.
oh please, Eridan was raised by a flying seahorse and has endured trials that should declare normal people insane. I THINK HE WOULD ACCEPT MARCO. especially so that they've bonded like this.]

I know. I remember how freaked out you all were by the pictures Seifer posted of Ace, eh. Do you need me to talk to her?

[Ffft.... XD Marco will just have to adopt Eridan and take him flying. So that Eri can be like Harry Potter with a pet Fawkes and flying car and rub it in the trolls faces or something. /sobs.]

[He turns to Linda]

[Dealt with like a man. Actually no, Linda just thinks this kid is rude and hobbles away. Like, really, how rude!]

["hey guys, guys, guys, today. i went flying like harry potter from wwizard people dear reader. i bet youvve nevver gone flying" he would brag about it until Sollux throws him out the window with pisionics 8( ]

Your first dealings with a prostitute. I'm so proud.

[rofl This clearly should happen for lulz. And even Ace would approve of the throwing him out a window thing OTL]

[HIS EGO, CAN YOU JUST HEAR IT GROWING?]

[It probably will once Sollux and Eridan get their chips out. Sob.]

[Marco just shrugs.]

Maybe they didn't know either? Or they thought you knew and figured you were teaching her a life lesson. Besides hookers aren't all bad. They provide an important service.

[Philosophy from a pirate... /sigh.
Also, excellent :3]

[PHILOSOPHY FROM SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BRING ABOUT HOPE.
:3c]

Only if you have that expectation of them. So long as you know what you understand what you're getting, that is what you'll get.

It just rarely is what people really want.

Edited 2011-04-11 02:55 (UTC)

Eh, if you fall in love with a hooker, then yes. But guys gotta have some wits about them too.

[Come on Eri, what about Pretty Woman? :O]

[(nottalking) nope.jpg]

Well, yeah. That's why they're called hookers mate.

For humans, having their ah, genetic material taken is a good thing. Enough that they'll even pay women for it, eh.

So you guys can't have sex without kids at the end goal?

All right, do you guys use your buckets with your matesprit or kismesis or is that just the one time you give the buckets to the queen to deal with?

So until then, you don't have sex, even with your quadrants?

[Have a wee babby fist to your side, Marco. So improper!!!]

[SO CUTE!!!]

Aye, aye, relax, eh? You guys have done more than a lot of full grown adults in my world, sometimes it just has to get asked.

Tell you what, I might not be able to answer troll biology questions, but you've got any other kind, and you can always ask me, eh?

[pap. pap. pap. that is the sound of babby fists hitting your side.]

[How Ace cannot see the resemblance to how he used to be when he first joined the Whitebeard Crew, Marco will never know. So cute Eridan.]

Well... it's pretty different person to person. More so in groups, eh? Pirates, marines, revolutionaries, they tend to be a lot more exciting. But lots of people in my world would just piss their pants if they ever saw a seaking up close and personal. You guys would probably have the right reaction and try to eat it.

[RUFFLES ERI'S HEAD.] Thanks Eridan, I appreciate that.

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