shellfish | Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

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Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

[ We start our story from a view of an apartment door, followed with some rather ornery chortling from the background. Suddenly the world is spinning as if you're on a circus ride, and you get a nice shot of Eridan's ~~butt chin~~ mug. He looks a little confused and you'll soon see why.]

hey lady you look kind of cold you should get on more clothes
do you want our shirts?
theyre free
you could havve them

[The view whips around again, Eridan is removing his gray shirt and lo ho ho dear readers, there is a lady. A lady with that is dressed in scanty clothes. Her name is none other than Linda. Also known on the street as the Hegemon of Honeybadgers. She looks disturbed, or amused being surrounded by all the troll children. Also, note that the DISCEDO KGB are no where to be seen.

But LO AND BEHOLD, ERIDAN HAS SCORED A PROSTITUTE.

BEACHES AND SHORES.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So you guys can't have sex without kids at the end goal?

All right, do you guys use your buckets with your matesprit or kismesis or is that just the one time you give the buckets to the queen to deal with?

So until then, you don't have sex, even with your quadrants?

[Have a wee babby fist to your side, Marco. So improper!!!]

[SO CUTE!!!]

Aye, aye, relax, eh? You guys have done more than a lot of full grown adults in my world, sometimes it just has to get asked.

Tell you what, I might not be able to answer troll biology questions, but you've got any other kind, and you can always ask me, eh?

[pap. pap. pap. that is the sound of babby fists hitting your side.]

[How Ace cannot see the resemblance to how he used to be when he first joined the Whitebeard Crew, Marco will never know. So cute Eridan.]

Well... it's pretty different person to person. More so in groups, eh? Pirates, marines, revolutionaries, they tend to be a lot more exciting. But lots of people in my world would just piss their pants if they ever saw a seaking up close and personal. You guys would probably have the right reaction and try to eat it.

[RUFFLES ERI'S HEAD.] Thanks Eridan, I appreciate that.

[Maybe because Ace and Eridan are like opposites, kind of. Water vs. Fire. etc. etc. I bet Ace never had a cool flying seahorse looking after him as a babby.]

[He just puffs his fins out a little.]

[Oh hey, it probably is that. Like how Marco is kind of an air type and can't deal with grounds... hm. And Ace had crazy bandits that encouraged him to fight and eat tigers looking after him. And he ran around trying to kill pirates and bandits when he was still 9. Kid had issues.]

Makes sense. Seakings aren't too easy to tame though, because they aren't that smart. You'd probably tame the same things the fishmen tame, eh.

[Bwaaah so cute.]

[And the 13 year old who's been plotting the demise of his own species doesn't have issues? ffff]

[huff puff!!!!]

[See? That is why they're similar. Ace spent ages trying to kill Whitebeard before they won him over. To Marco, Eri is just in his "I HATE YOU ALL" phase and he needs love and cuddles and food to cheer him up. .... orz]

[Marco just laughs.]

Does that count as taming? Sounds like you two have a one-two punch combo reminiscent of fishmen and merfolk. Merfolk want to live peacefully with all the species, fishmen tend to be more militant.

[He'll accept your love in the form of sandwiches.]

[Or Chowda? Marco makes an awesome chowda. Maybe even good chowder.]

Yup. Definitely like fishmen for you and merfolk for her then.

[If you make it and he loves it, he'll accept it.]

[He also makes egg-less cookies that are damn tasty.]

So have they.

[You can be either the Chowder industry or the cookie bakery. your pick.]

[They're both so delicious. :O Cookie bakery sounds delightfully fruity and gay though. If Jazz gets him the pink scarf, he might have to find a pink apron to go with it. Chowder is canon though. HM. /debates.]

No worries mate, you'll always be Eridan the badass sea troll to me.

[He could be both :|a]

Of course! We'll even get you a cool wanted poster nickname one of these days. To go with the awesome scars you'll get.

[Marco would make a good both. :|a So long as he's not stealing Japan's position. orz]

[nobody could possibly steal Japan's position. It is pretty secure.]

That's how it goes, eh. So long as you get it in a way that gives bragging rights. You've got plenty of time ahead of you.

Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

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