shellfish | Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

Entry tags:

Eridan: Pick up a hooker named Linda.

[ We start our story from a view of an apartment door, followed with some rather ornery chortling from the background. Suddenly the world is spinning as if you're on a circus ride, and you get a nice shot of Eridan's ~~butt chin~~ mug. He looks a little confused and you'll soon see why.]

hey lady you look kind of cold you should get on more clothes
do you want our shirts?
theyre free
you could havve them

[The view whips around again, Eridan is removing his gray shirt and lo ho ho dear readers, there is a lady. A lady with that is dressed in scanty clothes. Her name is none other than Linda. Also known on the street as the Hegemon of Honeybadgers. She looks disturbed, or amused being surrounded by all the troll children. Also, note that the DISCEDO KGB are no where to be seen.

But LO AND BEHOLD, ERIDAN HAS SCORED A PROSTITUTE.

BEACHES AND SHORES.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yes it is. Though Ace is going to kill Marco for adopting a troll when Ace specifically forbade him from it. HE CAN'T HELP IT. He saw Eridan defend him to Karkat for being cool. He knows he cares ;; Somewhere in there. ]

Perfect.

[Just starts laughing and rubs his chin.] Not bad, eh? You should see the ones they have for me back home. They're not even offering a bounty here. In my world it's one of the biggest bounties out there other than Dragon, Shanks, Kaidou and Big Mam. [Hey, he's cool with being in the top 10 out of MILLIONS of pirates.] Keep it. Then you'll know someone's look out for you no matter what, eh.

[Ace can adopt Sollux with Seifer. Come one, come all, get your babby trolls from Japan. But yes, Eridan does care. Somewhere deep down in his goldfish attention span heart.]

[He turns the poster over and stares at it in amazement, looking from poster to Marco.]

[He tenderly folds the poster back up. A purple hue briefly coming to his face as he noted Marco's words. Something he won't forget, especially so when they all return to the real Discedo. FORESHADOWING? IT THINK SO.]

[Exactly. And Marco doesn't find Sollux so impressive anyway. Bees bug him. So Marco can adopt Eri, and everyone can love Fef. It's a circle of love. Also awwwww. Cuuuute.]

You have wanted posters back in your world too? What for?

[Marco will totally be even more ridiculous in real!Discedo because he'll have his D.F. back and SO MUCH adrenaline use from anarchy!highs. Aw yeah. Best role model ever. OTL]

[Good Model. Best Model. lol sob Marco is going to be like one of those big kids that have all the little kids trying to copy them.]

Ohhh, hardcore. Isn't Feferi the Princess though?

[Because this is obviously a discussion to stop and have while they whole city is looking for them. Annnnd ffft... Marco's life is always like that. Fancomic example. Also that is why Eri reminds him of Namur (the shark fishman) all the time.]

[LOL OBVIOUSLY, this is the best conversation to be having. And awww that is so cute and precious ;u; Marco you are the babbysitter, it is you.]

Ohh all right. So you and the others here never got wanted posters yourself, eh.

Well on the bright side, your sort of have now. Very badass.

[Yes, yes he is. He is just the mother hen of the crew.]

[ ;o; round up the babbies Mama-Marco ;o; ]

You escaped "the man" and all his nurses, ran off and gave clothes to a hooker.

This is how adventures start.

[Just listen to the anarchist pirate Eridan. He knows these things.
And... Oh god he will so round up the babies. His next post "back home" will probably just be in bird form cuddling baby chicks OTL. All that badassery out the window.]

[What man, he doesn't know.
Eridan will just think of you as some badass lusus. Look at all them wrigglers you're taking care of marco. that's pretty badass, for a lusus]

Sex without buckets for cash -- money. Trust me, it's better that you're trying to giver her clothes. I don't know how often I have to explain this to my little idiots, but it's rarely worth it.

[Notice that he says rarely. OTL such a bad role model Idek...
And that is true love right there. Accepting Marco's insanity nonetheless XD he appreciates it.]

[OTL look how flustered he looks. He now understands why the hooker had been pestering him for the past hour or so.
oh please, Eridan was raised by a flying seahorse and has endured trials that should declare normal people insane. I THINK HE WOULD ACCEPT MARCO. especially so that they've bonded like this.]

I know. I remember how freaked out you all were by the pictures Seifer posted of Ace, eh. Do you need me to talk to her?

[Ffft.... XD Marco will just have to adopt Eridan and take him flying. So that Eri can be like Harry Potter with a pet Fawkes and flying car and rub it in the trolls faces or something. /sobs.]

[He turns to Linda]

[Dealt with like a man. Actually no, Linda just thinks this kid is rude and hobbles away. Like, really, how rude!]

["hey guys, guys, guys, today. i went flying like harry potter from wwizard people dear reader. i bet youvve nevver gone flying" he would brag about it until Sollux throws him out the window with pisionics 8( ]

Your first dealings with a prostitute. I'm so proud.

[rofl This clearly should happen for lulz. And even Ace would approve of the throwing him out a window thing OTL]

[HIS EGO, CAN YOU JUST HEAR IT GROWING?]

[It probably will once Sollux and Eridan get their chips out. Sob.]

[Marco just shrugs.]

Maybe they didn't know either? Or they thought you knew and figured you were teaching her a life lesson. Besides hookers aren't all bad. They provide an important service.

[Philosophy from a pirate... /sigh.
Also, excellent :3]

[PHILOSOPHY FROM SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BRING ABOUT HOPE.
:3c]

Only if you have that expectation of them. So long as you know what you understand what you're getting, that is what you'll get.

It just rarely is what people really want.

Edited 2011-04-11 02:55 (UTC)

Eh, if you fall in love with a hooker, then yes. But guys gotta have some wits about them too.

[Come on Eri, what about Pretty Woman? :O]

[(nottalking) nope.jpg]

Well, yeah. That's why they're called hookers mate.

For humans, having their ah, genetic material taken is a good thing. Enough that they'll even pay women for it, eh.

So you guys can't have sex without kids at the end goal?

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]