shellfish | ERIDAN: Introduce yourself to the welcome party.

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ride this tsunami over yall

ERIDAN: Introduce yourself to the welcome party.

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling DiscedoCity [DC] --

CA: my glasses arent wworkin
CA: i cant access trollian wwith them
CA: but i found this netwworkin devvice nearby
CA: it doesnt havve trollian but it wwill suffice
CA: evven if fixin the font is a pain in the bonebulge
CA: but noww that i am in contact with one of you fuckasses
CA: wwhere the fuckin hell in sgrub did you flat-footed shell-lickers send me
CA: this isnt part of the game so wwhat the gracious fuck havve you done
CA: you better givve me some answwsers
CA: this means i dont wwant any wwriggler nonsense out of your seedflaps
CA: i wwill havve none of that up in my gills
CA: you understand that land grubbers
CA: you better not havve failed big time or i wwill find you
CA: create a tsunami with my grist
CA: and ride that wwave all over your husk and up it wwhen i get my terminal part of my forelimb on you
CA: and after i ride that motherfuckin tsunami ovver your husk
CA: i wwill ravvage this city like a ragin typhoon
CA: and this shitty pathetic shell of a planet wwill be no more
CA: you hear that
CA: so givve me some fuckin answwers noww
CA: no dallywwaggin or any of that mucky-knicker-cheese
CA: i fuckin mean it im not afraid to shoot any of you fuckers in the face
CA: like ivve been shooting these fuckers in the face
CA: fuckin mean-chunk preposterous monsters
CA: and wwhy arent they givvin me any grist
CA: i dont givve a damn about levveling up since i reached the top of my echeladder
CA: it doesnt make any fuckin sense
CA: but wwhatever i guess i wwill just wwait to be answwered
CA: GLUB GLUB GLUB

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[staring at Eridan]

I understand. Ahh, I will do my best to avoid such things in the future.

[UM. DRAWS MORE MAP.]

[ Shoving Eridan right back. BONDING, THE TROLL WAY. At least he's not Equius. No one wants to bond with Equius and his freakish strength :( ]

[ Karkat's new mantra will have to be "it could be worse, there could be Vriska." Anddd heading over to ~~glare~~ stare over Japan's shoulder. ]

[Nobody wants to bond with a sweaty asshole. :( But said sweaty asshole isn't here so rejoice and shove Karkat again. This time where his wounds may or may not be. See Sollux isn't here to have a nerd fight with Eridan so Karkat will have to suffice. :(

Anyways, he looks around the apartment, judging everything silently. And then he comes across Ben.

Benfromlost.]

[How are you going to stare over my shoulder don't tell me 6 year old troll kids are taller than me too.... LMFAO no but anyway. Just. Gloom... and drawing more...]

I will label it, of course... [And he moves back to Marshall and writes "most likely loudest building" next to it]

[ idk Karkat's probably like. Japan's height. He's shorty mcshortson. ]

[ glancing back and noticing his glorious Prinny cohort. ]

[ Cue Benfromlost... idk, discussing Lost with the word "dood" thrown in. And ending it with "go to hell Karkat."

That earns a rude troll gesture from Karkat. ]

[Eridan's like slightly taller than Karkat but not by much. I mean they are just babbies afterall. They'll grow within another solar sweep or two. With nothing better to do he just watches Country Japan with Karkat. Observing the human in person, soemthing he has never done before.]

[Japan will be making note of monster locations on the map (as far as he knows) as well, but he pauses to glance up.]

Forgive me if this is too forward, but you two have names, correct? Ah, I could always stick to "CG-san" and "CA-san" if you prefer, but if those are not your names, it is a bit odd, I believe...

[ God he's tired. Finally turning to Japan, glancing irritably between himself and Eridan. Here is where he points accusingly. Again. ]

[He just punches Karkat in the arm really hard. Hopefully his rings left an indent in Karkat's flabby muscle limb. They probably dont by Eriy Potter can hope they do.]

...-san is simply a term of respect, but if you insist... Karkat and Eridan. I will remember.

[hmm adds the lake to the map]

[ OW THAT HURTS. PUNCHING ERIDAN IN THE SHOULDER. I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE PURPRLE BRUISE. ]

[ Actually, now that he thinks about it, Karkat has to wonder if Japan is from the same Earth as the Kids. He'll think on it more after he's completed his "don't sleep for a week to rid self of the nightmares" experiment. In the mean time, back to taunting Eridan. ]

[OW THAT HURTS. EXCUSE ME COUNTRY JAPAN WHILE I PUNCH MISTER VANTAS IN THE PUPCAT. AND BY THAT I MEAN PUNCH HIM DIRECTLY IN HIS WOUND HOLE.]

[He pauses in the midst of his arguement to observe the lake on the map.]

[Congratulations you two. Not only did you manage to get Japan to drop "-san" if only for the comparison to verbal tics, you have convinced him that you are flirting in some strange way. Is this true. Whatever, he is convinced.

Ignoring that and any other calls on his name, he looks to Eridan and then back to the map to address the lake.]

That's correct.

[ FUCK YOU FUCK YOU THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH FUCKWORDS TO PERSONIFY KARKAT'S HATRED AT THIS MOMENT. Doubling over in pain. Luckily he's wearing his shirt so even if he's bleeding through his bandages, it won't show.

Trust me, Karkat would have much to say in relation to Eridan being wrong about everything, almost as much as he would have to say about the mechanics of troll romance to Japan, but he's a little to busy trying to breathe. He hasn't eaten since Japan fed him, he hasn't slept, he bled all over, he's as weak as a normal human, and now he's being punched. That's enough to send a troll to his knees.

And while he's down here he'll just start biting at Eridan's ankles. Actions speak more than words, after all. This is speaking in all the capslock Karkat can't manage at the moment. ]

[ And that's when Eridan feels a sharp and dull pain at his ankles. He calmly, and very casually, looks down at Karkat. He's slightly annoyed by this land grubbers antiques and attempts to crush the candy corn troll's skull in with his foot. That is to say he places his foot on Karkat's head and gives his foot a good hard shove.]

Ahh, there are creatures, though it is hard to say what types... The last time I attempted to discover this, it did not end well, so--

[turning to stare.

um.]

S-surely we can get along without violence...

[ Squirming his way out from under Eridan's feet, standing, and fucking SPITTING HIS PURPLE ROYAL BLOOD ONTO THE FLOOR.

YEAH BLEEDING ISN'T SO MUCH FUN IS IT HOOKIE.

Karkat wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, looking as though he bit into the most revolting thing on the planet. ]

[ERIDAN however, is horrified to find his precious royal purple blood on the god damn floor. That blood is not meant to be wasted you hookie. But suddenly, intense pain because he's still a little sunburnt from the sun.]

[He leans over to his ankles and quickly reveals that his ankle has become a fruit gusher of purple vials. Or more like a bleeding purple sharpie pressed against paper. It runs everywhere, but it isn't as bad as it could have been.]

[He doubles over in pain much like Karkat was in earlier but unlike Karkat he is not the least bit embarrassed about his blood color spewin all over the god damn floor.]

[WOW YOU SAID IT WAS PURPLE BUT HE ONLY HAVE BELIEVED YOU MAN. STARING. STARING SOME MORE. OBVIOUSLY SHOCKED OVER HERE. He sets the paper and pencil down with some nervous hand-waving.]

E-eridan? Are you alright?! Shall I get bandages? [STILL STARING AT THAT PURPLE BLOOD.

THAT IS. FASCINATING.]

[ Karkat would probably be grinning smuggly if he was a) capable of smiling, and b) wasn't witnessing the most pathetic display in the universe. Seriously. Why are all of his friends such fucking lunatics. Granted he really doesn't have room to talk, considering he just BIT SOMEONE'S ANKLES, but he already knew he was crazy. That's a given.

Instead he sighs. FACEPALM COMBO X2! ]

[JUST. Not talking at all. Too busy indulging in emotional theatrics as he holds his bleeding ankle. There isn't a whole lot of blood as Eridan likes to think there is but there's enough to classify it as a puncture wound. Even if it isn't as deep as as it could have been.]

[Japan will slide out of here, grab the kit, and return in a minute or so.]

[ Meanwhile Karkat will just chill here and indulge the emotional theatrics. ]

[Eridan will just sit there and lament on said emotional theatrics. And provide the lewd gesture from time to time for Karkat. Just. For. Karkat.]

[RETURNING, crouching next to Eridan, and opening the medical kit!!]

Ah, here... [He would help but Karkat had seemed so against that. So um. Waiting to see.]

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